There’s a lot to say about silence.
ADULT LIVES MATTER!
It's snowing again. After a few days of semi-springlike weather, we have been bamboozled once again. I always said that if it's going to be frigid, it could at least be pretty. Covered in a blanket of white snow until it actually warms up.
But, right now...
I'm tired of terrified driving. To and from work, I count where there should be guardrails but aren’t. There’s about 50 death traps if I hit ice, or anyone around me is an idiot. Talk about building a wall- let’s build THOSE walls.
I also believe that if it’s too scary for kids to go to school, we don’t go to work. Adult Lives Matter! We should be in an era where we can work remotely in blizzard situations. I believe we have the technology. Why aren't more companies doing this?
My neighbors have already pulled me out of my driveway twice in about a two week span. I now have to add beer money for them to my winter budget.
It's not my car. It's my dad's. I'm learning it's diva qualities. I hope my car is ready soon.
I guess that's one cool thing about winter- it always brings your community together a bit more. Everyone is out there shoveling and gruffing... It unites us a bit. Unity in the suck. But, it sure is pretty.
I get a celebratory shoveling when I finally get home tonight. After a glass of wine...
Silly Monday to you,
Lisa
RED-LIGHT DISTRICT FOR CHRISTMAS
Christmas is a huge deal in my family. Growing up, I would help my mom decorate the house, which was not as dangerous, or as funny, as helping my dad put up the lights.
Tangles, nails, ladders, non-working bulbs, freezing your ass off... It was all good fun. It was all a part of it. I even acquired his sound effects while working. We both make that airplane sound with our lips when concentrating on some chore. I don't know why. "I learned it from watching you, Dad!" We both had a lot of laughs, mostly at things that were thrown at us. Laughing at small frustrations is good practice for keeping your humor for the big frustrations in life.
One year, I was exchanging the porch light and the garage lights for Christmassy ones. I put in the red light on the porch and my dad looks over and says, "I live with three women-- we cannot have a red light on the porch! Uh uh. Use the green ones!" Good point. Our neighbors heard that. I think that’s why they all liked us. We always gave them a good chuckle.
No red-light district in Livonia, Michigan...
Another year, I don't remember what we were doing but something was terribly wrong with the lights/cords/etc, and I suggested an alternative that was probably a half-ass solution due to lack of motivation, and he joked very quietly, "We don't want everyone knowing we're stupid..." ;) (You can see that I got the ability to laugh at myself and this abnormal sense of confidence from my dad.)
Things are a bit different now that I am older and I have a house of my own. I am solo on the lighting detail. I have one of those projectors that shine red and green dots all over my house. Done. Lovely. Time for a cocktail. Seriously, a brilliant invention for lazy ones who still want to be festive, and also for single gals who still don’t own a ladder... BUT!! It took me a while to figure out that my house has no outside outlets. I gave it a couple laps around the house. My neighbors were watching. Then, the extension cord was, of course, a big fat mess. De-tangling is not in my wheelhouse of patience. It is my dad's. He loves that shit. Says it's "calming". Crazy. My neighbors got a bunch of expletives during their dinner. It would have been funny had my dad been with me. He’s two hours away, so we are both on our own now for the holiday fuss. Now... this shit sucks. Imagine a toddler shaking something up and down and then throwing it down in frustration. That was me.
This morning, in the light of day, I saw the jumble that I left the extension cord in, and also noticed the mail lady's footsteps in the snow from days before... right through that mess. This is the first day it's been there. I hope she's looking where she's walking today- might I add, through my lawn instead of using the sidewalks and steps that I have to keep clear and salted for her... I really do have to fix it, though. Hope it's not too late. Ahh, she hates me anyway. (If you need a reminder, this is just one reason: https://www.hangingonbysillystring.com/blog/not-today-sucka )
Enjoy the chaos. There is always beauty in the chaos.
Have a Silly Monday and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
May the magic of the season bring out the little kid in you.
Lisa
Man, I'm Old
....Speaking of getting older, I pulled a muscle in my neck yawning.
My face afterward was probably pretty funny. "Did that actually just happen?"
I've been having a hard time with the acceptance of getting older.
It comes in bits.
When you look in the mirror and say, "That can't be right..."
Also, when you are invited to a Halloween party and the theme is pop culture... I have no idea what pop culture is in 2017. So old. All I got was "Look What You Made Me Do", Taylor Swift. That idea is the top one on The Google for Halloween ideas, so that's out. I got nothin'.
I realized in volleyball this past week that I truly am the oldest I have ever been. I am just going to get older, too! I know. Crazy, right? I thought I was invincible- like it just wouldn't happen to me... until I was about fifty or sixty. Not so. I have never felt that I aged a decade between volleyball seasons, except for this time. While I used to dive for digs and at least get to the ball, the movement of the ball didn't even register in my mind until it hit the floor. Now, if it's too far and I deem it to be unattainable, I just say, "That's a good serve", while I stay in the exact same spot. We had a laugh about our hearing this time. Someone heard "appendix" out of no where, so now that's what we yell when we can't hear or when anyone gets confused. Also, "side effects" was mistaken for something, meaning we are all on medications already, pretty much.
At least laughing about it will always help. Aging is inevitable, difficult- more so when you see it in your family members... but it is also pretty funny. Humbling.
I'm so damn tired. It's Monday morning and I already want to take a nap. Remember the "student nap pose"- resting your head on your hand, to make it look like you were reading? Yeah, that was my favorite. I may pull that off today at work. However, with this trick, you really need to be mindful of the vicious head bob that gives you away. And it also scares the shit out of you.
When has the awareness of your own aging hit you? Leave it in the comments below!
Have a Silly Monday,
Lisa
Driving Without Brakes
So, this just happened. During a crazy chaotic week, I found myself driving without brakes. Yes, the irony was not lost on me. God is telling me to slow my life the bleep down (because He probably doesn't curse like me).
The day before, I had gone for an oil change, and everything was fine. The next day, I found myself with no pressure when I broke, my foot all the way down to the floor. I pulled into the same oil place about the time my brakes went completely nil and asked what was happening, since my fluid was checked. The guys would not let me leave. Both brake lines were shot and I had no fluid. So, in searching for tow trucks on my phone that has low battery and trying to figure out the nearest mechanic that would now be closed, how to get home, and being forced to take the next day off work (I call car troubles Single Gal Strong), these nice boys said they would help me if I waited until they closed the shop and move over to the next parking lot. Oh my goodness! Are you kidding?! That's amazing.
This was after Zumba. I swear, all my car troubles happen when I am in my Zumba gear. Last time I was stranded in the middle of a left turn on a busy cross street, with people honking at me like idiots, got towed and had to ride in spandex feeling very naked with some hillbilly driver side eyeing me the whole time. This time it was laundry day Zumba gear- even worse. Laundry day Zumba gear is not the cute Barbie workout gear we all don- I mean, camel-toe and all. You know, those pants that find crevices that just shouldn't be visible to other humans. Maybe the advertised crevices were why they offered to help, though...
So, I am sweating out of everywhere, starving, on my period without a bathroom, and waiting for these nice angels to close up so that they can sacrifice their night working on my car. My car is loaded like I'm a hoarder because life is busy and messy. I also had no cash on me to give them.
I bought pizza from next door, since none of us had dinner. There goes Zumba. Sometimes, life just makes you eat pizza.
They brought me brake fluid, but needed some parts, so I had to get in this young kid's car and ride nervously while he showed off and drove like an asshole to the store. I felt safe with these two, but I'll tell ya, the female caution tape is automatic and can be ridiculous. I was just aware of it, that's all. It wasn't that bright yellow in my head until my aunt expressed concern over the phone and made me fight some insistent paranoia. Did this place do this yesterday somehow? Was this some sort of scam? The one guy was left alone with my keys and could make a copy-they already have my address... Now I was in a car screaming down the streets with some stranger. He then knew my credit card number as well. When we got back, it was a different situation then the safety I felt before. It was pitch black, the pizza place next door had closed and turned their lights off. It was just me and two dudes in a parking lot next to the woods. Dammit. When they started talking about something else wrong with the car, I let my concern come out a minute and said, I just need to get home. When I drove off, with brakes, one of the guys said to have a blessed night. It made me smile and relax.
It's funny, this world we live in. It's a different world depending on your sex, for sure. These good Samaritans were just that, good. They were a blessing, and the instinct women have is to be overly cautious to the point of paranoia. Maybe it's my upbringing, Detroit logic, or whatever, but it is part of my psyche, whether I like it or not. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. It's been both for me. My instincts have definitely saved me in certain situations. But I always feel guilty when it goes the other way- when the universe sends me love and I question it.
So, I went back the next day and gave them my card and cash for all their help. There are good people in the world. I was so relieved and it was so much more painless than dealing with the normal breakdown Single Gal Strong. I told them if they ever opened up their own shop I would be their #1 PR pro. Ladies need trustworthy mechanics. We even might exchange business, as they need a photographer.
They said to have a blessed day again.
So, what did I learn? Brakes. Slow down. Thoughts are racing, that yellow caution tape, To-Do lists, schedule, life... Slow down. You need brakes.
Also, I need to throw those pants out.
Silly Monday to everyone,
Lisa